Every Marriage is Different

One last thing I want to touch on before we go forward with our 21 days of projects. Kathi calls it "No Cookie Cutter Marriages."

As we look at the projects and get a feel for how we are going to implement them remember that we don't have to do them verbatim. If we come to the day where it says “make a gourmet candlelight dinner for the two of you” and your thinking "I barely have enough left in me to get through the rest of the day how could I possibly make a fancy meal?" then don't. Remember our purpose is to learn to not take our spouses for granted and to find ways to show them we love them. It's okay to serve KFC on china by candlelight. If the project just screams "my husband will not be into this" then skip it or modify it. Make it work for your marriage and the two of you. In her book Kathi states 'You're t he only expert on your husband."

Another thing to be aware of is when we start something like this with a small group of women it is easy to fall into some wrong expectations and even comparisons.

Oh, how I have let myself be disappointed at times because of my expectations. When I set myself up to expect a certain result and it doesn't happen it is easy to get frustrated and angry or even just give up. Combine my unmet expectations with the news of someone else's great results and I'm on an emergency run to the market for some serious ice cream therapy.

That's why "The Husband Project" is not about getting a certain result or "changing" my man. It is more about changing me and the way I think about my husband and my marriage. It’s not about comparing notes and trying to have the kind of marriage someone else does. My motives during this project should be to bless him secretly without being noticed.I've had to learn in life to give up my expectations to God first and then I am free to be content and blessed with what he decides to give me.

So friends hold each other accountable for your motives as we go through this together.

Psalms 139:23-24 New Living Translation

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Lord, you know me better than I know myself and can see my true motives. Help me to give up my expectations and let you be in charge of the results.